Not New To This

I've been thinking about it lately and realized that I'm not new to adoption.  Within the last two weeks I've lost two cats that I've raised and loved on and spoiled rotten for the last 12 years.  Sometimes I feel ashamed to ache and grieve for them as much as I do, but then I realize that together we've invested 12 years of our lives in each other.  Them in trusting me to provide for them and care for them and me in having partners in crime and someone to snuggle with even when the times are tough.


Sometimes I worry that I'm going to forget about them when they pass, but then there are times that I can remember every single thing about them.  There are days like today when my heart breaks at the mere thought of them and days where I can smile and remember certain characteristics of each of their personalities.  I remember moving them from the Tri-Cities 240 miles to Seattle, from Seattle to Everett and from Everett to Lynnwood.

Right now there are 4 left.  Three girls and one boy.  I never in my mind predicted combinations of who would be left behind but this isn't a combination that I would have imagined.  I soon will have ashes of 3 beautiful cats whose memories I hope to never forget.  We're going to plant a tree in the front yard and do something special with what remains of them.

The song goes:  Every new beginning comes with some other beginning's end.  While my beginnings may be ending, I find happiness in the fact that both of my parents are going through adoptions of their own.  My dad just got a little girl kitten and my mom has decided to adopt a little girl puppy.  And I know that my days of adopting little furry friends aren't over, either.  One day when The Kittens all pass and I've had time to heal, I'll do it all over again.

Because even through the heartbreak there is happiness.

Shadow

Angel

Tigger

Closer

Let's be honest… The month of April gets a pretty bad rap as far as the media and history is concerned.  Hitler's birthday, Rodney King riots, Columbine shootings, 320 people killed in the South by freak tornadoes, etc. etc., but it also happens to be my birth month so because of that, I'm always going to have a soft spot in my heart for April.  And also, April was a HUGE month for lesbians in the adoption pool.  Actually, it was a huge month for the adoption pool in general and I LOVE that!  Overall the month of April saw 8 couples (two of them lesbian couples) adopt babies.  Far more than any other month since we entered the pool last July.  It's so exciting!  It's also weird to see Kristen and I at the bottom of page 5 because we entered the pool on page 12.  So many changes.  Things are getting closer to being complete and it's a good feeling.

This past weekend was my birthday weekend with friends and family and it was a really good time.  It's been a wetter-than-usual Winter/Spring so when I saw in the 10-day forecast that this past Saturday was slated for 57 and sunny, I was all over making birthday BBQ plans!  You have to understand my excitement because it seriously snowed about 8" on my 30^th birthday.  My SURPRISE 30^th birthday party.  At the end of APRIL.  In SEATTLE of all places.  Still all of my friends and family were troopers and made their way to our house despite the crappy weather.  Couldn't have loved all of them more that day!

I am kind of regretting that I washed my car yesterday when it was 60 and sunny because in typical Seattle-fashion it's about 48 and raining out there right now.  DOH.

I don't have any new news on the baby-front, though.  April is also a fantastic month in that I caught Kristen in a good enough mood for HER to suggest that we go out baby clothes shopping and pick up some furniture from a friend (which we've been meaning to do for the past several months).  We had such a good time looking at all of the cute little things and came away with some great swag!  This month's adoption support group meeting's topic is all about ideas for the entrustment ceremony and how to deal with the final steps of the adoption which I'm really looking forward to.  It's also the last meeting before they break for the summer.  It's been great meeting those people and getting to know them, but part of me secretly wishes that all of us who have become friends won't have to show up in September when they resume the meetings because we will all have adopted by then.  Hey, a girl can wish, right?  I guess that over the summer I'm just going to have to plan some cool things to look forward to as much as I've looked forward to the adoption meetings.  July is covered with Warrior Dash and June might be covered with something called a Survivor Mud Run!  As weird as it sounds, I'm actually really getting into this running stuff.  Maybe not the long distance ones, but 5k's aren't too bad.