So many questions...

There are days, especially when I'm slow at work or right after we've gotten a screening call where I'll sit and wonder how all of this is going to go down.  Mostly questions like, is the birthmom pregnant right now and about to choose a family?  What is she going through right now?  Will it be that we'll get a call that a birthmother has chosen us and we'll have a few months to get to know her?  Be a part of the birth?  Maybe not necessarily in the room with her, but close by?  Or will it be a last minute placement where we're asked to come as soon as possible because the baby has been born and we've been chosen as parents?  A part of me would ache as the thought of not being there from the very beginning but in the grand scheme of it all, would that really matter? Will we have the most perfect Entrustment Ceremony where we call cry and promise to provide the very best for this little life because that's what they deserve?

I wonder about how our relationship will be with the birthparents.  I would really love for the birthfather to be around, but will that happen?  Even if the birthfather chooses not to be around, between my dad, two brothers and male best friend plus Kristen's dad, stepdad and 7 brothers I think that there will be enough male impressions on their life.  What about our relationship with the birth-grandparents and extended birthfamily?  I wonder how that's going to be.  Will they accept the decision of the birthparents and accept us into their lives or will it be challenging in the beginning?

Will we ever be able to express to the birthparents the gift that they have given to Kristen and I?  What is going to happen if our methods of parenting are different?  If the baby's culture differs from ours will we ever be able to do them justice by introducing enough of their culture into our lives?

I think about the "firsts" of everything.  First full night of sleep.  First time they sit up on their own or crawl.  First word and first step.  And their first birthday and the fun that it will be.  Will the birthfamily want to be there?  Will we want to combine the parties and have everyone there or would that be too much for us or them?  And later birthdays when we get to take them to Jump Planet and bounce around for an hour with all of their little friends.  Then I think about the enormity of Kristen and I being responsible for teaching them everything that they're going to know.  Well, not everything but you catch my drift.  She and I helping to mold them into productive people for society.

What happens 12 years down the road when they are at the age where they are figuring themselves out?  Will they understand the adoption and the great sacrifices that their birthparents gave to give them a better life?  Will they understand that they were everything that we ever dreamed of and not be angry with us?  Will there be a phase where they'll want to live with their birthparents or prefer them over us?  How is that going to affect Kristen and I and will it break our hearts?  Will *we* have enough strength to know that it's just a phase and one day they'll understand?

Checking in...

Editor’s note:  I always start these blogs out in Word, away from the actual Blog and then I forget what it was that I mentioned last time to be able to continue on with this new blog.

Summer has finally hit Seattle and it couldn’t be more perfect!  It’s been in the 80s most of September and to me, that’s perfect.  Better late than never, especially when the weatherguys are all aflutter about us having another La Nina winter.  I’m not exactly sure what that means but I’m pretty sure that La Nina is Spanish for: you’re going to get a lot of snow, so be prepared.  BAH, I say!  Let’s focus more on the late summer that we’re having!

Labor Day weekend couldn’t have been more perfect.  Friday I was at an all day concert featuring the like of The Naked and Famous, The Givers, AWOLNATION, The Joy Formidable and lots more.  It was great to be outside with friends and taking in the awesome weather and great tunes.  I don’t know how it happened, but I managed to only burn the inside of my legs.  How does that happen??  Anyway, in the meantime mom had come into town and was hanging out with Jeff at the studio.  Saturday was spent running around getting ready for the BBQ later that night.  The BBQ was fun!  More low key than the ones that we normally have, but it was a holiday weekend and the turnout was perfect.  I managed to only get bit by one bug which is HUGE news for me.  Seems the skeeters in Seattle love them some Misty.  Sunday was pretty low key.  We spent a couple of hours with Jeff and Matt installing a new washer at the rental house, replacing the one that flooded the laundry room (that’s for THAT, stupid old washer) the Wednesday before the long weekend.  Monday Kristen and I hauled down to IKEA for a dresser for the nursery and about $200 worth of other randomness for the house.

Let’s get into how complicated the dresser was to put together.  I had heard a while ago that IKEA had to change their little pictorial installers on all of their instructions from being a woman (women’s lib got their panties in a twist) to now be well, not even human-looking, let’s be honest.  It took THREE female humans to get that damn dresser together!  And there were 2 left over cam locks.  Oy.  Pray the thing stays together.  So all we’re missing now is the crib which was ordered from Babies R Us last night!  The whole room is coming together now and I’m completely excited :)  I know that it might still be a little while before it’s actually filled with a baby, but these little steps remind me that this is really happening.

Let’s see.. what else?  This weekend wraps up the last of the regular season for the Storm and that’s kind of sad.  Okay, I’ll be honest and say that I wasn’t really as into this season as I have been in the past.  Maybe it was because we were so busy this summer that we missed a handful of games and it was kind of a hassle to schedule everything else around them.  Oh well.  They’ve made it to the playoffs and tonight’s game determines if we get home court advantage over the Mercury or not.  That would be HUGE because it’s harder for us to lose at home than away.  Although, I suppose that’s why they call it “advantage”.