Closer

Let's be honest… The month of April gets a pretty bad rap as far as the media and history is concerned.  Hitler's birthday, Rodney King riots, Columbine shootings, 320 people killed in the South by freak tornadoes, etc. etc., but it also happens to be my birth month so because of that, I'm always going to have a soft spot in my heart for April.  And also, April was a HUGE month for lesbians in the adoption pool.  Actually, it was a huge month for the adoption pool in general and I LOVE that!  Overall the month of April saw 8 couples (two of them lesbian couples) adopt babies.  Far more than any other month since we entered the pool last July.  It's so exciting!  It's also weird to see Kristen and I at the bottom of page 5 because we entered the pool on page 12.  So many changes.  Things are getting closer to being complete and it's a good feeling.

This past weekend was my birthday weekend with friends and family and it was a really good time.  It's been a wetter-than-usual Winter/Spring so when I saw in the 10-day forecast that this past Saturday was slated for 57 and sunny, I was all over making birthday BBQ plans!  You have to understand my excitement because it seriously snowed about 8" on my 30^th birthday.  My SURPRISE 30^th birthday party.  At the end of APRIL.  In SEATTLE of all places.  Still all of my friends and family were troopers and made their way to our house despite the crappy weather.  Couldn't have loved all of them more that day!

I am kind of regretting that I washed my car yesterday when it was 60 and sunny because in typical Seattle-fashion it's about 48 and raining out there right now.  DOH.

I don't have any new news on the baby-front, though.  April is also a fantastic month in that I caught Kristen in a good enough mood for HER to suggest that we go out baby clothes shopping and pick up some furniture from a friend (which we've been meaning to do for the past several months).  We had such a good time looking at all of the cute little things and came away with some great swag!  This month's adoption support group meeting's topic is all about ideas for the entrustment ceremony and how to deal with the final steps of the adoption which I'm really looking forward to.  It's also the last meeting before they break for the summer.  It's been great meeting those people and getting to know them, but part of me secretly wishes that all of us who have become friends won't have to show up in September when they resume the meetings because we will all have adopted by then.  Hey, a girl can wish, right?  I guess that over the summer I'm just going to have to plan some cool things to look forward to as much as I've looked forward to the adoption meetings.  July is covered with Warrior Dash and June might be covered with something called a Survivor Mud Run!  As weird as it sounds, I'm actually really getting into this running stuff.  Maybe not the long distance ones, but 5k's aren't too bad.

One year ago...

I meant to write this a couple of weeks ago when it was actually the one year anniversary of our adoption process but then I forgot.  Such is life and it's not the first time I've forgotten something, right friends?

Anyway!  One year ago March 17th, Kristen and I started the adoption process.  Mounds of paperwork later we entered the babypool on July 27, 2010.  So it hasn't quite been a year in the pool and had one of us actually gotten pregnant, we still would be one month from delivering, anyway.  Or more like 3 weeks, but whatever.  Close enough.  March has been a slow month at the agency and I'm feeling myself get a little anxious about the process.  This would mark the first time where I've really felt OVER the waiting since we entered the pool.

I'm wondering if the idea of turning 33 has me all worried about something.  I've never really felt a day over 24 (seriously, unless I'm running or falling) but the idea of turning 33 in less than a month now has me all anxious about just moving on with my life.  I'm not excited about this idea of perpetual waiting but at the same time I understand it's necessary.  And I know that I should be all greatful for the time right now when Kristen and I can just run out and do things on a whim but we've had 5 years to do that now, ya know?

Anyway, at the last Adoption Support Group meeting we were told by the counselor that was running the show that the Seattle counselors are busy working with birthmothers (so much so that they couldn't make it to the meeting themselves) so that's reassuring.  Maybe there will be more movement in the pool soon and maybe it'll involve us!  Our next meeting is down at PICC in Kent and I'm kind of excited about that.  The Center's goal is to help take care of babies that are born addicted to drugs.  I'm really hoping that Kristen and I can get a better understanding of what that might entail should we decide to take on that challenge.

In the meantime, it's pretty much life as usual for us.  We're right in the middle of picking a roofing contractor to replace the roof at the Lynnwood house and I've decided to put the Everett house on the market, just to test out the waters.  The weather has seemed overly crappy here lately (even for "rainy" Seattle) and I'm just looking forward to some warm, sunny days.  I'm hoping that Mother Nature will bless us with an unusally long summer (like till December would work for me) for slamming us with such a crappy winter and start of spring.  It's time for Storm games and BBQs with friend!  And maybe a spodi or two :)

Alright, lunch break is over!  Back to work and more later, I'm sure.

Finally!

There was FINALLY a lesbian adoption at our agency!  Apparently the last lesbian adoption was October of 2009 which was extremely daunting to learn about 3 months ago.  But it doesn't matter anymore because there's been a lesbian adoption and the only way this could be more exciting (and terrifying, but in a totally good way) is if it was US!  Yay for them and their new little family :)  I'm also excited that our next adoption support group meeting is in a week!  While Kristen is friends with a couple of people from the group on Facebook, I haven't seen or talked to anyone since our December meeting.  Definitely miss the information and connections with people that are going through the same things that we're going through.

So let's see...  I think my last post found me in -15 degree weather in Colorado with the other Durangotangs.  Since then I've been to San Diego and now I'm back in Seattle with no foreseeable travel in my near future.  I like to travel but there are definitely times when it's just great to be HOME.  San Diego was awesome and warm and it's definitely a place that I could see myself living if we ever had to move.  I'm all about beach weather, people.  Sun, sand and surf is for me.

Speaking of which, we're trying to plan our annual "summer vacation" right now.  I really wish that I could feel safe in Mexico, because I LOVE it there, but right now it's just scary.  And I know they say to avoid only the border towns and that the resort towns are safe, and I know that if something was going to happen to us it could happen ANYWHERE, but I feel like, why put myself in that situation where we know it's dangerous?  Hopefully one day Mexico can get a handle on the drug stuff, but until then I'm going to have to find somewhere else to vacation.  Which brings us to St. Martin!  Maybe.  We've talked about a cruise but Kristen's main worry is that I'm going to feel "trapped" on the boat and I'm going to be miserable.  I can't argue her that because I'm the same person that HAS TO (has to, people) try to leave the house any time it snows just to see how far I can get before I'm actually stuck and have to slink back and admit defeat.  I hate feeling trapped so cruise could be a very interesting concept for me.  My argument to her is that we could try it once and if it's way to much for me to handle then we just don't do it again.  We'll see how that goes :)

I haven't really bought anything baby related for a while and I think that I might do something about that.  Maybe this weekend.  I can't have Kristen with me because she talks me out of everything!  Even just a pack of onesies or a blanket or something!  Her answer is always NO.  I think that she's afraid of having too much stuff around the nursery room, but the way I look at it is every month we're in the pool is one month closer to a baby!  Girl Scout up!  Be prepared!  Plus the door to the nursery is always closed (it's been deemed a cat free zone) so maybe I'll just sneak things in there one by one and hope that she doesn't notice.

Warrior Dash traiing is actually going really well for me!  I manage to get to the gym about 4 times a week with one of those days being soccer on Tuesdays.  I'm also doing this calorie count thing on my iPhone and it's been a real eye opener to watch the amount of calories that you put in your mouth every day without really thinking about it.  I've never really been a snacker, but even small things like (2) Carmel Delight (Samoa, whatever) Girl Scout cookies are 160 calories!  Do you know how much time on the treadmill that equals?  About 20 minutes at 5mph.  Just to burn those off!  Okay, now I'm sounding preach-y but you get my point.  So far I'm down 2 pounds out of the 9 that I wanted to lose, which Lose It (the iPhone app) promised me would happen by April 15th so we'll see how it goes :)  I'm gonna be one sexy Warrior Dash biatch!

It's been a while...

I had hoped that 2011 was going to start out a lot less painful than 2010, but that wasn't in the stars for me.  I found out that my mentor of 7 years died on January 21st at the age of 35.  I spent most of the week after I found out in complete shock and disbelief that it had even happened.  He and I didn't part ways on very good terms but I think that over time we had a mutual understanding that things were okay between us.  I don't know.  It makes you really stop and realize that anything can happen at any time and you shouldn't take for granted that you'll have tomorrow to say you're sorry or that you love someone.  Anyway, before I go getting all mooshie...

Our Leavenworth getaway was great fun this year!  My little brother showed up with his girlfriend this year and we all had a really good time.  We posted tons of photos and videos on our Facebook pages about the tubing.  They raised the prices from $10 to $15 so we were only able to go one time this year (just because I hate spending other people's money).  It was still as fun as ever, though.  I think that we've made tentative plans to take the Friday before off next year and go snowmobiling.  That would be so much fun and something that I've never done before!  We even made plans to head up to Leavenworth sometime over the summer to go whitewater rafting.  I love that we're making memories :)

I'm sitting here in Durango, Colorado trying not to freeze my nether-regions off.  It was -15 degrees at 7:00 this morning and I'm pretty sure that's the coldest weather that I've ever been in.  Probably wasn't the smartest thing to land here last night wearing only a tshirt and hoodie, but whatever.  I'll learn for next time.  Oh, and I learned that people from Durango are called Durangotangs.  Love it!

So not much has changed as far as the adoption stuff goes.  I had to miss this month's meeting (which was tonight) because of travelling and that pretty much sucks.  We haven't been to a meeting since the beginning of December and I'm starting to miss the topics and contact with other adoptive parents.  I think that our agency may have lost another counselor out of the Seattle office and that kind of weirds me out.  That'll be two counselors in about 4 months and the turnover is slightly disheartening.  I'm not positive that that happened but a few things have pointed toward the idea that one of the more vocal counselors no longer works there.  Otherwise things are pretty much the same.  Just waiting and watching couples enter and exit the pool.  There still hasn't been a lesbian couple adoption yet, but I'm remaining hopeful that 2011 will be a new year.  Speaking of adoption, my longtime friend's adoption of her little boy will be finalized tomorrow.  I'm super excited for them.

They say that keeping busy is a way to make the time go by faster so that you're not constantly is "wait mode" for a baby.  Kristen and I haven't really planned our summer vacation yet (*ahem* KRISTEN), but hopefully we will soon.  But we did, however, sign up for this:  www.warriordash.com!

Pretty cool, huh!  And it's not just *us*, I've gotten about 10 of my closest friends and family to go out and get muddy with us!  I'm actually really looking forward to this.  I'm not much of a runner, believe me.  My mentality is that in order for me to actual want to run, I better be chasing something (like soccer) or something better be chasing me (like a tiger).  I don't run just to run but there's something about this whole event that appeals to the butchy athelete side of me.  Michele and I are going to spend weekends finding hay bales and junk cars to hop over to get ready for July 16th!  This is going to be so much fun.

Anyway, with the time difference it's almost 10:30 here so I should start thinking about sleeping.  I have to be downstairs at 8:00am to head to the airport for home.  I think that I caught a crappy cold on the plane but I'm hoping that maybe it just has to do with the change in weather and altitude or something.  I don't have time for a cold right now!

Adios 2010!

Ah, 2010.  I'm trying to remember if you were more pessimistically-optimistic or the other way around.  I do remember that you started off kind of painful.  The fertility treatments weren't working and Kristen and I were faced with moving on to IVF (painful) or looking into adopting (something that we hadn't thought through at that point).

January saw me flush my cell phone down the toilet at a lacrosse game (seriously, it happens people) and the introduction of the iPhone to Misty (best. gift. ever.).  Plus we had our First Annual Leavenworth trip!  February brought around the initial meeting at the adoption agency where we got a feeling of what was to come.

March brought about the decision to go with Open Adoption and Family Services as the agency of choice to use in our adoption process.  The Pre-Adoption meeting was fun and informative and that's where we met Warren and Chris.  April and May were filled with paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and home studies and June was filled with gathering pictures for our photo collage, wrapping up the paperwork for the background checks and finishing the final drafts of our autobiographies.  It was also the first time that I'd ever been fingerprinted before and I was nervous!  Now I'm never allowed to do anything bad again because I'm in AFUS and they'll bust me faster than a clock can coo-coo.

We entered the baby pool at the end of July!  The 27th to be exact and everyone knows how much that's my favorite number, so I felt pretty lucky.  We also started working on the baby's nursery:  painting the walls, fixing the trim and removing the ugly popcorn stuff from the ceiling.  August brought around our big trip to Boston and NY to see friends.  I hadn't been back to Boston since 2000 and neither one of us had been to NY so it was a great time!  Plus we got to go to the beach in New Hampshire and play in the Atlantic and that's not something that you get to say/do every day, ya know!

September, October, November were waiting months.  We've made a list of everyone in the pool and we're kind of monitoring the trends of who is adopting and who is still left in the pool.  September was also the start of the monthly adoption gatherings through the agency and we've met some pretty cool people through there.  It's nice to know that we're not going through this alone.

December has been another waiting month but has gone by so fast that it doesn't feel like we've been in the pool for 5 months already.  We also went back to Eastern Washington for Christmas for the first time since my parents divorced.  It was great to have everyone there.

2010 has also seen at least 6 our our friends have babies (that's just a quick count off the top of my head, sorry if I forgot anyone) and with that comes joy and pain for me (not speaking for Kristen here).  Maybe that's hard to explain.  I'm super excited for our friends and love that they have started or added to their little family units.  At the same time we've been trying this for so long that it's painful in a way that to watch other people just be able to move on.  Overall, though, I'm just happy that everyone that I love and care about it happy and safe.

So 2011, I have high hopes for you!  You start in about 13 hours and you have some big shoes to fill.  January will bring around our annual Leavenworth trip, April my birthday, July Kristen's birthday but other than that we don't have a lot planned for you right now.  I'm sure there will be game nights and summer BBQs.  Possibly a new roof for the house, maybe a new car for Kristen and some random remodeling projects.  Hopefully you will bring and end to Gretchen's cancer and you will bless another 6 of our friends with babies.

Oh yeah, and feel free to send a stork (or two, hey, I'm not being picky!) around our way too :)

Editor's Note (that's me):  September also saw my Seattle Storm win the WNBA Championship again!  Woot!

Movin' on up!

Slowly but surely we're making our way up in the pages on the adoption website.  This is both good and bad in that it means couples are being picked and moving on with their lives and bad in that it's not us.  Haha.  I have my moments when I go crazy about the wait, but overall things are pretty good.  I haven't done any more baby supplies shopping yet, but there's still plenty of time left in the month.  I think that Shannon letting us borrow her things for the time being has really allowed me to calm down about not being all that prepared.  Except this morning where the conversation went a little something like this:

Kristen:  We have to pick up Mack tomorrow, don't let me forget.
Me:  Okay, I'll add a reminder to my phone.
Kristen:  I don't have baby carseat tie downs in my car.  (Some other things but I don't want to freak Gretchen out.. haha)
Me:  Um, maybe it's time we spend $25,000 so you can get baby carseat tie downs?  Hint: maybe you need a new car.

We're totally picking up Mack in my car, Gretchen, don't worry.

Anyone who knows anything about Kristen and I knows that we've been having the "maybe Kristen should get a new car" talk for oh, about 3 years now.  I know one day it'll happen but it's going to happen on Kristen Time and not Misty Time.

Christmas is less than 2 weeks away now and I'm excited to go spend a few days back home with the family.  I think that mom is stoked that we're going back for Christmas which is cute to see.  Everytime we talk on the phone she's like, "You guys are still coming back, right?"  Yes, mom, the plan is to still go back.  Pending the pass isn't a complete and total snowy mess.  Even then the plan is for the 4 of us and Leo to rent a big ol' SUV and make our way back together.  Unless the weather is going to be clear and then we might just take our own cars and save the moolah.  Who knows?

Anyway, just wanted to touch base!  Things are pretty much the same with us.  Working, christmas shopping, going to the gym and hanging out with friends.  Life's been pretty good :)

Transracial shmasracial

We're fresh off our December adoption meeting and I always have a good couple of weeks after each of these meetings.  They tend to remind me about the end goal and how we just have to stick in there because one day it's going to happen for us.  This meeting was about Transracial Adoption and I was pretty excited about the topic in general.

In the beginning of this whole adoption process we were given a boatload of paperwork and one of them was a Transracial Adoption questionnaire booklet who's job was to ask us questions that would put us in situations where we had to think abotu whether or not we would be comfortable adopting outside of our race.  I was pretty confident about my answers to the questions but when everything was said and done, I was one question away from falling into the "maybe you're not really ready to adopt outside of your race" category.

I was shocked.

I consider myself pretty diverse and a non-racist individual.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that I fall into one of the smallest minorities on the planet.  Female.  Mexican.  Lesbian.  I couldn't believe that I was one question away from the being in the next category.

So ultimately this brings up the question of whether or not Kristen and I are prepared to adopt outside of our race.  And I guess the short answer is:  I'm not sure.  I listened to the stories of the adoptive mothers that were there tell their stories of raising their beautiful African American daughters and the comments that even the most well-intentioned people would make.  How would Kristen and I handle those?  Would we be equipped to response with kindness rather than rash responses?

I would like to think that racism doesn't exist in the world that I live in today.  That it's almost 2011 and it's time that we put all of that behind us.  I'm no better than you and you're no better than the person next to you.  Regardless of your color.  But here's the thing that I've been painfully aware of most of my life.  Aside from the fact that it's obvious that I'm female and unless you know my last name, I've pretty much been able to "hide" the fact that I'm Mexican or the fact that I'm a lesbian unless it's something that I want you to know.  The idea of adopting a child of color or of a different race puts everything out there.  They're going to have 2 mothers, they are going to look different than us and they are going to be adopted.

I don't know.. I feel like I'm babbling.. it's almost 11:00 on a Friday.  Maybe it's time for sleep and more blogging later :)

Oh yeah, FYI:  I'm blogging in purple and this font and Kristen's taking the white font.  Now you can keep track of who's talking smack about who!